Elegance in the afterlife! So you have your GhostBox, you’ve set it up as per the instructions (don’t open the box), your home is haunted – but what kind of novelty pet ghost is it? Let’s take a look at the classy ghost and what a refined haunting looks, feels, sounds, and smells like!
Imagine the spirit of a refined, elegant entity gracing your home with its presence. That’s right – you could be haunted by a classy ghost.
Before you panic at the prospect of being out-dressed by a spectral entity, we got you covered. Your ghost might certainly be more sophisticated than you (not a jab at you personally, mostly; few people alive can really lay claim to the ‘sophisticated’ title), but we will discuss how to handle a classy ghost if you are less than elegant yourself.
First, let’s just take a look at what a classy haunting really entails.
Signs of the Classy Haunting
If you’re experiencing any of the following, there’s a good chance you’ve got a classy ghost adding a touch of sophistication to your home. Here are the signs of an elegant pet haunting.
Phantom Perfume
You might catch whiffs of expensive perfume or cologne that seem to come out of nowhere. This refined scent is a clear indicator of a ghost with impeccable taste.
Elegant Music
Classical music or jazz softly might play in the background, and you can’t locate the source. It’s as if your ghost is providing a constant soundtrack of elegance.
Ghostly Etiquette
You might find handwritten notes offering polite suggestions on improving your manners or etiquette. Perhaps a gentle reminder to always use the right fork or to write thank-you notes.
Formal Attire
You might wake up to find your clothes have been laid out for you, always in a classy and sophisticated style.
Elegant Parties
You might hear the faint sounds of an old-fashioned high-society party, complete with clinking glasses and genteel laughter. It’s as if your home is hosting a perpetual soirée.
Fine Dining
You might find your table set, ready for a formal dinner. Your ghost wants every meal to be a special occasion.
Literary Ghost
Classic novels or poetry books might be left open around your home, as if someone were reading them. Your ghostly companion has a love for literature and the arts.
Search History
Your electronic devices might be used to access fashion pages or browse fine art.
But wait! I'm a total slob! What should I do?
Just as with any other pet experience, there is no guarantee you two will fit together personality-wise right off the bat, and any closeness requires some adjustment time – from both of you.
Don’t worry – this can be a fantastic opportunity to embrace a bit of elegance in your life. Maybe your willingness to be approachable will encourage your ghost to chill the fuck out a bit and not equate elegance with being a snob. The harder the lines are drawn, the worse the communication tends to get, both with ghosts and literally everyone else.
Remember: you can communicate with your classy ghostly companion in a variety of ways; ouija board, tarot cards, pendulums, divination rods, written messages, EVPs… the list goes on. This can help you two bridge any gap there might be. (Way easier than getting along with a foul-tempered, passive aggressive goldfish who resents you for having the gall to name it Taco. So really, don’t complain.)
Be adventurous. Perhaps you can start by taking small steps to incorporate some of the ghost’s habits.
Most likely, this will make your novelty pet ghost feel heard, and they will soften towards you. Always do your best to be courteous and patient towards others, and that includes ghostly entities.
You could also embrace some of the etiquette tips your ghost provides, if they do. Who knows, you might find joy in writing a thank-you note or setting a beautifully arranged dinner table – yes, even if you are only cooking for one and it’s a microwave meal. Don’t forget, your novelty pet ghost might not need food, but it can still be there as a lovely dinner companion.
How about experimenting with a delightful new wine or dressing up a bit more than usual? You are a worthy and wonderful person, and you deserve to look your best. Most importantly, let the ghost’s presence remind you that adding a touch of class doesn’t have to be daunting – it can be a fun experience that brings you closer to your spectral friend.
Getting Classy With Your Novelty Pet Ghost
Being haunted doesn’t have to be a scary ordeal, especially when your spectral companion brings an air of elegance and refinement. Your home might just be blessed with the most elegant and charming novelty pet haunting around. So, raise a glass of fine wine, enjoy the sophistication, and revel in the polished ambiance that your ghostly companion provides. Even if you aren’t naturally classy, this ghostly relationship is a chance to bring a little extra grace into your life – you do, after all, deserve the best.